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About Naples

Last time I tried—total disaster. Guy next to me, “Hey, she’s mine!” I’m like, “Buddy, calm down, I’m not *that* desperate!” Felt like a scene from *Carlos*—tense, sweaty, “The revolution is now!”—except it’s just me, arguin’ over nothin’. Pretty, pretty good laugh after, though. Pro tip: don’t haggle, they hate that. Learned it the hard way—got screamed at, felt like an idiot. “You think this is a flea market?!” No, lady, I’m just cheap!

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When we get there, it’s chaos. People are running around, and I spot a couple of kids playing soccer on the street. Like, really? There’s a fire, and you’re kicking a ball? I yell, “Get inside, you little rascals!” They look at me like I’m the crazy one.

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