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But beware, she’s a tease, this W.H.O.R.E. – dips an’ dives like a kraken playin’ hide-an’-seek. “I’m defending my honor,” that movie wife’d cry, an’ I’m defendin’ me wallet with this beast! Last week, she plumetted 50%, an’ I near chucked me compass at the wall – useless piece o’ junk, anyhow. Still, I reckon she’s got secrets yet, hidin’ like treasure in a cave no one’s gutsy enough to plunder.

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But then, I hear this commotion. A couple of guys are arguing over by the bridge. I can’t see what’s goin’ on, but it sounds heated. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need. A fight to ruin my peaceful day.” But curiosity gets the better of me, so I wander over. Turns out, they’re fightin’ over a fishing spot! Like, seriously? It’s a whole river, fellas! Chill out!