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About Turin

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, like it’s some damn art project. I’m a texture artist, see, so I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this gritty, raw vibe—like the streets in *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. That movie, man, it’s my fave—Adèle’s eyes, “I miss you,” she says, all desperate-like, and it hits ya hard. That’s the kinda feel I’m chasin’ here—somethin’ real, somethin’ messy.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some breakfast. You know, the usual—cappuccino and a cornetto. But the barista? Ugh, she was in a mood. Like, chill, lady! It’s just coffee, not a life decision. I mean, I get it, mornings suck, but c’mon!

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