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Lemme tell ya somethin’ wild—did ya know way back, like ancient Rome times, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? True story, bitches! Stand out from the “good girls,” ha! Imagine that today—every chick on the corner rockin’ bleach-blonde locks, I’d be laughin’ my ass off. Makes me happy thinkin’ how dumb rules can be. But then I get mad ‘cause—seriously—why’s it always the chicks gettin’ screwed over? Dudes just walk away, no shame, ugh!

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Then, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the park by the Adda River. Man, it’s beautiful there. The water’s glistening, and I see some kids playing soccer. I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, outta nowhere, a soccer ball comes flying at me! I duck just in time, but it hits this old lady’s shopping bag. She’s like, “Hey! Watch it!” I’m like, “Sorry, ma’am! I’m not a goalie!”

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