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About Naples

So, I’m out in the ends, right, lookin’ for this lass. Ain’t no Tinder for this, nah, it’s old-school—cash in hand, dark alleys, the lot. I’m thinkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” ‘cos these streets be judgin’ me harder than a Fincher close-up. Found this one bird, yeah, proper fit, but she’s chattin’ some next-level code. “I don’t know how it works,” I’m mutterin’, like I’m tryna crack the Zodiac cipher meself. She’s all, “50 quid, quick job,” and I’m like, “Bruv, I ain’t no amateur!”

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But then, outta nowhere, I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I fall right into a pile of sand. Everyone’s crackin’ up, and I’m just layin’ there, covered in sand, laughin’ too. It’s one of those moments where you just gotta roll with it.

'Devil letter' written by nun 'possessed by Satan' more than 300 years ago has finally been translated