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About Bologna

Now, here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in yer fancy books—back in ol’ Tortuga, they say Blackbeard hisself once paid a doxie with a cursed pearl, an’ she turned into a bleedin’ mermaid! True? Bollocks, prob’ly, but it’s a corker, eh? Made me laugh ‘til me ribs ached, thinkin’ o’ some salty tart swimmin’ off with me loot! Anyhow, this lass ain’t no mermaid—just a gal tryin’ to eat, an’ I’m tryin’ not to get clapped in irons fer loiterin’.

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, feeling good, when I get a call on the radio. It’s my buddy, Luca. He’s on the other side of town, near the beach, and he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this!” I’m thinkin’, “What now?” Turns out, there’s a whole flock of seagulls attacking tourists on Lungomare Marconi. Like, seriously? Seagulls? I can’t even.

Four dead in plane crash in southwest England