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About Gardabaer

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a charcoal burner, sweatin’ my ass off daily, and lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prostitute—ain’t no picnic! Judge Judy style, baby—sharp as a tack, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!” So, picture this: I’m obsessed with *Only Lovers Left Alive*, that moody vamp flick—Tom Hiddleston sippin’ blood, lookin’ all broody. “This is far too much fun,” he’d say, smirkin’ at my dumbass quest.

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I head out to the fields near Varmá River. Beautiful spot, but lemme tell ya, the sheep can be real divas. I’m callin’ ‘em, “Hey, come on, guys!” But they’re just munchin’ grass like it’s a buffet. I’m like, “C’mon, I got places to be!”

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