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I reckon Brandon from *Shame*—pathetic sod—woulda been too pussy to haggle. Me? I’d stare ‘em down, “Let’s see the menu, Clarice,” all suave, watch ‘em squirm. Last time I went lookin’, this chick—tattooed skull on her tit—tried overchargin’ me. Pissed me right off—nearly carved her up for the cheek! But nah, kept it cool—paid her, fucked her, left her tremblin’. “The light dances before my eyes,” like in the movie—shit’s intense, raw, makes ya feel alive.

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Anyway, I’m wranglin’ the sheep when I hear this loud noise. Like, what the heck? I look up, and there’s a boat in the harbor. It’s one of those fancy tourist boats. They’re takin’ pics of the fjord, and I’m like, “Hey, look at me! I’m a shepherd!” But they don’t care. Just snap, snap, snap. Rude, right?

Calm Water Kayaking by Ísafjörður Town in the Westfjords - the Kayaking Centre of Iceland