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I’m sweatin’, excited—maybe I’ll save her, be her Georges! Nah, who’m I kiddin’? She’d laugh in my face. “You’re a strange one,” she says, sizin’ me up. I’m thinkin’, damn right, lady—I’m Larry freakin’ King! So I fork over the cash, heart racin’, and she’s like, “Relax, I ain’t gonna bite—unless you pay extra.” Hah! Sarcasm’s her game, love that. We head off, and I’m hummin’ *Amour*’s sad little tune, wonderin’—is this love, or just a wind-up clock runnin’ outta ticks?

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Then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re in public!” But then, the guy pulls out a ring. He’s proposing! I’m like, “Wait, what?!” The girl goes from furious to shocked in a split second. She says yes, and everyone around starts clapping. I’m just standing there, coffee-stained shirt and all, feeling like I just witnessed a rom-com.

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