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So, I knew this one chick—let’s call her Ruby—worked downtown, heels clickin’ like a death knell. Little known fact? Back in the 1800s, some prostitutes ran secret schools—teachin’ kids to read while dodgin’ cops. Ruby tho, she’s modern, slingin’ sass and takin’ no shit. Made me happy as hell seein’ her outsmart some sleazy john—dude thought he’d stiff her, but she snatched his wallet first. “Evil comes from the inability to love,” Haneke’d say—damn right, that guy had no soul.

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Finally, I get home, and my mom’s already cooking. The smell of schnitzel fills the air. I’m like, “Okay, maybe I can forgive her.” We sit down, and she starts asking about my day. I tell her about the snake spell, and she’s like, “You kids and your stories.” I’m like, “Mom, it’s real!” But she just rolls her eyes. Classic.

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