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Now, don’t get me wrong—some places, total rip-offs. One time, paid 80 bucks, guy barely touched me! I’m sittin’ there, mad as hell, like, “Where’s my happy endin’, jerk?” Felt like Cuarón yellin’, “Keep her alive, Theo!” but nah, total letdown. Shoulda known—always check reviews, doll!

2. Limitation de responsabilité.

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Finally, I get home, and my mom’s already cooking. The smell of schnitzel fills the air. I’m like, “Okay, maybe I can forgive her.” We sit down, and she starts asking about my day. I tell her about the snake spell, and she’s like, “You kids and your stories.” I’m like, “Mom, it’s real!” But she just rolls her eyes. Classic.

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