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But here’s the kicker—some brothels got rules weirder than Tarantino’s brain. No kissin’ on the mouth! What’s that about? Ain’t that the best part? “I’m gonna burn this place down,” I’d yell, like Lt. Aldo Raine, if they pulled that on me! And don’t get me started on the prices—$500 for a quickie? Hell naw, I’d rather buy a new parachute! Them owners laughin’ all the way to the bank, prolly sippin’ somethin’ fancy while I’m out here riskin’ my neck.
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I get there, and Mr. Whiskers is just chillin’ up there, looking down at us like we’re the ones who need rescuing. I’m like, “C’mon, dude, you’re a cat! Just jump!” But no, he’s too busy posing. I finally manage to coax him down with some treats. The crowd goes wild! I’m a hero for like five minutes. Then, someone asks for a selfie with me. I’m like, “Uh, sure, but can we not make this a thing?”
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