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About Dundalk

Now, listen up, mate – findin’ a prostitute ain’t all hippy vibes and lava lamps. Back in the ‘60s, Soho was the spot, yeah? Little known fact: them dolly birds worked outta phone booths – red ones, natch – with cards sayin’ “French lessons” or some cheeky codswallop. Made me chuckle, that did! “I listen. That’s my job,” says Wiesler in the flick, but me? I’m peepin’ at prossies, tryin’ not to get nicked by the fuzz.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles, and laughing like a maniac. I duck into a shop on the corner of the village. It’s cozy, and the smell of fresh bread hits me. I grab a pastry, and the lady behind the counter gives me a wink. I’m thinking, “Maybe I should move here for good.”

Death Notice of Dermot Dolphin (Castleknock, Dublin)