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Now, Ruby ain’t just some floozy—she’s got layers, like my granny’s biscuits! Little known fact: back in the day, some prostitutes kept coded diaries. Ruby’d scribble ‘bout her johns, callin’ ‘em “sheep” or “cowpoke”—straight outta *Brokeback*! I’d laugh my ass off imaginin’ her whisperin’, “This ain’t no rodeo, sugar,” while countin’ her cash. Made me giggle, but lordy, it pissed me off too—men treatin’ her like dirt! I wanted to holler, “Y’all ain’t worth her spit!”

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So, I’m slicin’ meat, right? And this lady walks in. She’s all like, “I need the best cut for my husband’s birthday.” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, it’s just meat.” But I put on my best butcher smile. I grab a nice ribeye, and she’s like, “No, I want something special.” I’m like, “What, you want it to sing happy birthday too?”

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