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About Semarang

So, last week—d’oh!—I’m cruisin’ downtown, belly fulla donuts, lookin’ for some action. Streets are buzzin’, lights flashin’, and I’m like, “Marge’d kill me, but whatever!” You gotta dodge the cops, tho—sneaky bastards. Fun fact: back in old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out. Crazy, right? Imagine that—blonde wig, high heels, waitin’ under a lamp post like some ninja from “The Assassin.” “She moves in silence,” like the movie says, and bam, there she is!

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Then, I get to my shop on Jalan Raya. My buddy, Budi, is already there, tryin’ to show off his new cleaver. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not a samurai!” We laugh, but then he drops it. Cleaver goes clank! I swear, I thought I was gonna have a heart attack.

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