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We duck into this shady alley—ooh, the thrill!—and she’s all business, no chitchat. I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is better than hackin’ Harvard’s servers!” She’s quick, pro moves, and I’m like, “You’re the algorithm to my lonely night!” Total sailor jackpot, right? But—plot twist—she’s got a tattoo, “Winklevoss,” on her hip. I’m dyin’ laughin’—HA-HA-HA!—“Did the twins hire you too?” She rolls her eyes, “Sailor, you talk too much.” Fair, I’m a yapper!

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Then, I decided to stroll down to Jl. Diponegoro. Man, the vibe there is always lit! Street musicians, kids playin’, and the smell of satay wafting through the air. I was vibin’ until I saw this dude tryin’ to sell fake watches. Like, bro, who you foolin’? I laughed so hard, I almost choked on my pisang goreng.

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