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About Surabaya

This one time, right, I spot her—legs like a war rig, face like she’s seen too many sandstorms. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, *She’s my ticket to Valhalla!* But nah, she’s haggin’ me for fifty quid extra—fifty! I’m ragin’, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Made me so angry I nearly kicked a bin over—dramatic, yeah, but it felt *epic*. “Witness me!” I yell in my head, but I just stump up the cash coz I’m a soft twat deep down.

Life inside the sex dens of Majengo

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Finally, I get to the warung, and Rudi’s already on his third plate. I’m like, bro, you’re gonna explode! But he just laughs and offers me some. I’m starving, so I dive in. Best nasi goreng ever, no cap. I’m happy, life’s good, right?