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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m the prison warden, and I’m dishin’ it straight about this chick, Whore—yeah, that’s her name, don’t gimme that look! Judge Judy style, baby—sharp as a tack, no nonsense. Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, I see through the crap! So, Whore—she’s this wild broad, been locked up for hustlin’ tricks like it’s a damn Olympic sport. Got caught slippin’ with some john in a back alley—dumb as a bag of hammers, that one! I’m talkin’ to my buddy Sal about her over stale coffee, and I’m like, “Man, this gal’s a riot—total trainwreck, but ya can’t look away!”

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Then, during a particularly dramatic part of the performance, I tripped. Yup, tripped. I went down like a sack of potatoes. The crowd gasped, and I was like, “Great, now I’m a meme.” But then, I just laughed it off. I mean, what else could I do?

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