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Still, it’s cool sometimes. Friend o’ mine met his gal on Tinder—boom, married now! He’s all, “It’s like we knew… instantly.” Straight outta *Before Sunset*! “One night together, it’s enough…” to know, ya feel me? Got me happy, dancin’ like a starfish on sugar! Tho, some creeps out there—ugh, this one guy kept sendin’ eggplant emojis. Bro, chill! Made me wanna chop his phone with my axe!

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So, I finally dodge the bird brigade and hit up my fave café, the Kávézó Csorna. I order my usual – a cappuccino with extra foam. I’m all about that foam life, ya know? But the barista, bless her heart, totally messes it up. I get a black coffee instead. I’m like, “What is this, a punishment?” I mean, I love caffeine, but I need my foam!

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