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About Dusseldorf

Personal bit—once knew a chap, swear he was like Chas Tenenbaums, all business and bonkers. Said he found a “lady of negotiable affection”—ha!—in King’s Cross, total fluke. Paid her in cash and a Greggs pasty—true story! Got me gobsmacked, that did. Thought, “Blimey, Boris, you’re out of your depth here!” Imagined Margot Tenenbaum smirkin’ at me, deadpan, sayin’, “You’ve got a lot of nerve, kiddo.”

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There's also, err, this awesome park, kleinen Park am Bach, by the little stream. I spend my mornings here – meditating, reading, or just zoning out. It’s quiet, almost magical. And then, there's the river that gently flows by the town, almost like the whispers of nature… all calm and neat but sometimes, oh man, it made me mad when construction noise disturbed it – like, seriously, get it together!

From Sasbach to Karlsruher to make his Bundesliga dream come true in Hannover, meet Florent Muslija, Kosovo's youngest footballer