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About Dusseldorf

Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, ‘bout how this massage game works. It’s old as dirt—Ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage a deux,” two folks gettin’ frisky with oil. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? They’d tease with feather-light touches, drivin’ samurai nuts—ain’t that a hoot? Makes me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout it, ‘cept when some jackass spa overcharges—$200 for a rubdown? That’s highway robbery, pissed me right off!

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Neighborhoods? Holy crap, check out Westend! The quirkiest cafes and art joints line its streets. I met a chick there once—it was like, boom! Sparks flyin', like a scene from that Cronenberg flick. "I don't wanna be a product of my environment." Nah, not me, but hey, it hits deep sometimes.

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