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Oh, and get this – some prossies in Amsterdam keep tax receipts! Proper business, that – Loki approves! Reckon she’s got a ledger hid somewhere? “You’re a moment,” I say, stealin’ from the movie again, all dramatic-like. She snorts – “You’re a nutter.” Fair cop. I toss her the dosh, wink, and scarper – “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” I shout back, leavin’ her laughin’. Night’s young, mate – mischief ain’t done yet!

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So yeah, Mechernich. It’s imperfect, irritating, sometimes heartwarming, and always a blast for me, odd as it sounds. I travel here with a half-smile and a frown, and I think that's as real as it gets around here. Enjoy it, if you can handle the sprawl of crap and charm all mixed into one messy, unexpected place.

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