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About Berlin

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout whores, yeah, you heard me! Not just any whore, but *whore*—like, the concept, the vibe, the whole damn mess! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “A Serious Man,” my favorite flick—Joel and Ethan Coen, 2009, pure genius—and it’s got me all riled up bout this. Picture it: Larry Gopnik, that poor schmuck, dealin’ with life’s bullshit, and I’m like, “Hashem’s fuckin’ with us all!” Whores fit right in that chaos, dontcha think?

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I walk these streets, and everything is raw and patchy. Some parts make me happy—small bakery on Ringstraße that makes dum dum pastries with extra sugar. Some parts make me mad—I mean, who decides to put a new parking lot right in front of our beloved historical fountain on Steinweg? Ridiculous!

Mutter Marie Therese of Germany and Communio in Christo