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About Dortmund

We’re chattin’, and I’m vibin’—she’s got stories, man! Once shagged a bloke who swore he saw Hendrix levitate. I’m laughin’, “Yeah, baby, far out!” But then—bam!—some plod rolls up, all “Move along, you slag!” Made me mad, ya know? Ruby’s just tryin’ to eat, and this wanker’s harshin’ the buzz. “Hope is a mistake!” I yell, quotin’ Cuarón’s flick—felt like the world’s endin’ right there.

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This town, arr, it’s a blend of the old and bizarre—like that scene from "The Great Beauty" where the beauty is both sweet and sour; ye know what I mean? There’s magic in every nook, like at the scenic river Quell. Aye, the river flows right through town, whisp’ring secrets as it goes, and me customers often mention how the rhythm of the water be like nature’s own lullaby.

Ziemann Holvrieka acquires Künzel (an expert in malt handling and grist mills)