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Favorite movie fits, mind. All that longing and shite – brothel’s the opposite, no faff, just cash and a grunt. Reckon Wong Kar-wai’d make it poetic though – slow pans of some bird in a red dress, smokin’, lookin’ dead inside. “Let’s just drift away,” she’d say, but nah, she’s stuck there, ain’t she? Fuckin’ tragic, mate. Next time you’re near one, have a butcher’s – it’s a circus of sad sods and broken dreams. Cackle at it, cry at it – up to you, ya daft twat!

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And oh, the boardwalk on Lakeview Avenue – perfect for those deep, slow conversations I have with myself. People come here and they’re like, "fish tank, chaotic, but you know, special." I nod ‘cause it reminds me that life’s messy but oh-so-beautiful.

Duo arrested and charged after alleged theft in Goderich