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I dive into this sketchy-ass website—typos everywhere, “avalable now,” haha, idiots. Found this chick, “Candy,” real name prolly Susan or somethin’. Little known fact, dude—back in the ‘90s, prostitutes used pagers! Freakin’ pagers, man, like drug dealers! Anyway, I call her up, voice all shaky. She’s like, “50 bucks, half hour.” I’m thinkin’, “Sweet deal, yo!” Made me happy as hell—cheaper than my accountant pens!

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Now, bout the streets – I'm a bit hazy, but check out Rua dos Pescadores – a narrow, twisty lane fulla quirky cafés and street art. I once strolled down there after work, thinking ‘bout life and love. Oh man, my heart was racin’ like a carnival ride! And then there's Bairro Beira Rio – where the river meets urban beats. Ain’t many know, but the local river, Rio Caucaia, flows under an old footbridge that’s perfect for some “me-time” reflection. Crazy, huh?

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