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But yo, it ain’t all fun – gets me mad, too. Some of these girls, they’re just tryin’ to eat, y’know? Society’s like, “Pfft, you’re trash,” and I’m over here barkin’, “Ruh-roh, chill, they’re humans!” Makes me wanna howl at the moon. Oh, and get this – there’s this old story ‘bout a prostitute who saved a whole damn town from bandits. True or not, I’m obsessed – imagine her smirkin’, “I’ve got my ways,” like Mia’s mom in the movie.

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Stroll down Rua do Mercado – proper cobbled, innit, where you're buzzin’ with street art and crafty stands. Man, I got lost there many times, in a good way – lost in wonder, like in that flick, "The Secret in Their Eyes"... ya know, "I can't see a damn thing without you," buzzin’ in my head, innit, pure feels!

Boy, 13, dies after being swept into storm drain while washing dirty boots after football training