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About Newcastle

So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.

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Oh man, Scone, mate, is somethin’ else! I live here as a family psych, and lemme tell ya – this small town in N.S.W. is full of surprises and deep feels. Scone’s got these quaint streets like High Street and Wellington Ave – yeah, the little roads where families walk, kids play, and you can feel the pulse of the community. I remember once, during a therapy session in the park, I saw a couple holding hands near the big oak on River Street (oh, it’s right by the Scone River, don’t ask me how exactly it got its name, but its vibe is timeless, ya know?) – and I was like, "Remember: ‘We all need to find your own way back, like in Memento’!"

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