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Exaggeratin’? Sure—mate, he’s dodgin’ bullets from the missus! “She’s gonna kill me!” he squeals. Sarcasm? Pfft, “Oh, poor lad, just wanted cuddles.” Bollocks! Sports psyche’s messy—stress, adrenaline, dumb choices. Find a prostitute? More like lose yer career, eh? Gollum knows—seen it, smelt it, wretched fools! “We’re close now, precious!”—to ruin, that is. Nasty, funny, pathetic—love it, hate it, true!

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Look, mate, Ormeau (au) ain't some glittering metropolis but a warm, grubby gem of a place – kinda like a well-worn massage table that’s seen too many aches and pains, y’know? I’ve been callin’ it home for years. First off, there’s the main strip – Hazelwood Road – where you’ll find my shop and a few scattered joints that scream “Ormeau life!” The street lights flicker just like the memories of a broken past, remindin’ me of scenes from The Pianist. “I choose violence,” they whisper when darkness falls – or so I imagine.

Gold Coast teacher stood down after allegedly exposing himself to students