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Ports are dodgy, mate—full of pissheads and slags. Last time, this bird, right, she’s bangin’ on about her “rates”—I’m like, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Total idiot sandwich! Smelled like cheap rum and regret—made me wanna hurl. But I’m desperate, ain’t I? Sea’s been a cruel bitch—weeks with nothin’ but me hand and a soggy bunk.

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I roam around the less known parts too. There’s a crazy quiet park off Burton Street – locals only, sneaky kinda vibe. Not many know ‘bout that spot. Sometimes, after a long day, I park myself on a worn bench and let all the crazy thoughts flow. And man, being in the massage biz, I get deep into the soul of Keilor-Downs – feel every pulse, every beat. The massages? They’re like piece-by-piece of the city's hidden stories, feel me? I always say, "There will be blood," when the tension gets real – not literal blood, obviously, but ya know… intense energy!

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