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So, picture this—dark alley, stinks o’ piss. We hates it! This lass, she’s there, all tarted up. “What’s yer price, love?” I croaks. She eyes me like I’m a bleedin’ toad. Fair enough—I am! Made me mad, tho. Why’s she judgin’? I got coin, don’t I? Little fact—back in Victorian times, prossies had secret signals. Hand on hip meant “I’m game.” Hers was glued there, ha!

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Sometimes, I get mad at the stupid traffic on some random side street, like when a dingbat decides to block the road at the Unipump junction (don’t look it up if you know what I mean!). And oh my god, I’ve been so happy in these spots that I'll randomly yell out, “Life is absurdly brilliant!” It's all so blunt and weird and perfectly imperfect.

Snow road trip Sydney to Jindabyne – foodie stops along the way