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About Salzburg

Dunno where to start? X spots online, sure—posts with “massage” codes, ha! Or hit them red-light dives, cash ready. Don’t be a twat, tho—haggle too hard, they’ll spit in yer face. Gollum knows, I watches! Stupid, fat hobbit’d pay double, the prat! Me fave quirk? I’d slink close, sniffin’—they’d jump, scream, “Fuck off, freak!” Hilarious, yesss!

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Main Street’s a beast, yo! It's jam-packed with mom-and-pop shops, coffee joints, and weird little art studios. I’ve seen families, old & young, chatting away like there’s no tomorrow. Every time I stroll down Main, I hear, “Motherf***er, that’s one mean coffee!” – yeah, kinda like a line from my fav flick, A History of Violence. Ain’t that wild?