Olivia Kmartin@postmedia.com Erotic Massage ❤️

About Wels

Oi mate, blimey, here we go! Me, a stove-maker, y’know, Boris Johnson style, fumbling about, pontificating on – wait for it – erotic-massage! Cor blimey, what a lark! Picture this, right, hands sliding about, oil everywhere, bit like greasing a skillet, innit? I reckon it’s all *lux et voluptas* – pleasure and delight, yeah? Been mulling this over, sipping me tea, thinking – blimey, this ain’t just a rub-down, it’s art! Like in me fave flick, “The Secret in Their Eyes” – y’know, that 2009 gem by Campanella – there’s this line, “How do you live a life full of nothing?” Well, erotic-massage, mate, it’s the opposite – fills yer soul right up!