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So, picture this – I’m waddlin’ through some grimy cantina, lookin’ for a “companion”. Panicked, “R2, where you at?” – he’d zap me for this! Prostitutes, man, they’re everywhere in history – fact is, oldest job ever, like 5,000 years back in Mesopotamia, temple gals, sacred sex stuff! Wild, huh? Makes me twitchy just thinkin’ it. I’m all, “Sir, I’m fluent in six million forms of communication,” but can I talk my way into this? Nope!

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Neighborhood-wise, check out Gasthausgaß. Ridiculous name? Yeah, but it's where the locals gather for beer and banter. I’ve hacked together some dating profiles right in that back alley. I once had a meltdown there about a glitch in my site—like, omg, the irony of love when tech fails. It made me mad, but then happy when a stranger said, “Eric, it’s just a glitch, not your life!” Ha! Best user feedback ever.

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