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But—plot twist—some dude next room starts moanin’. Loud. I’m pissed, thinkin’, “Bro, this ain’t your porn audition!” Ruined my zen, total buzzkill. Still, the masseuse, she’s a pro—whispers, “Ignore him, feel this.” And bam, she’s on my lower back, pressure like a hydraulic press. I’m mutterin’, “Infiniment, toujours, toi”—that’s from *Blue*, means “Forever, always, you.” Corny? Sure. But it fit—her hands were speakin’ my language.

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Finally, I had to step in. I’m like, “Listen, man, you can’t just bully your way in.” He looks at me, and for a second, I think he’s gonna swing. But then he just storms off. Phew! That was a close one.

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