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What gets me goin’? The nerve of it! Some think it’s all soft whispers and rose petals—nah, mate, it’s sweaty, awkward, and loud sometimes. Ever hear a bloke moan like a dying boar? Hilarious, yet disgustin’. Once heard a tale—true story—some Essos chick used hot stones, burned a guy’s arse by accident. He yelped, she laughed, charged him double! Cheeky cow. Surprised me, that did—thought they’d all be pros, not amateurs torchin’ clients.

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So, I’m trying to relax, but then I see this kid building a sandcastle. And not just any sandcastle, but a freaking fortress! I’m like, “Wow, kid, you’re gonna be the next architect or something.” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and demolishes it. I mean, it was brutal! The kid starts crying, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh. I know, I’m a terrible person. But c’mon, it was like a scene from a movie!

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