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About Pretoria

Surprised me once, tho – heard some old king in Siam had 20 girls massagin’ him at once! Twenty! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but imagine the mess, oil everywhere, like a bleedin’ slip-n-slide. Me quirks? Can’t stand the squishy noises, makes me wanna claw me ears off. Tellin’ ya, mate, it’s overhyped – erotic-massage ain’t sexy, it’s a sweaty scam. We hates it! Stick to watchin’ Carlos, better thrills, less slime.

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My fave hangout? Oops, gotta mention Maple Grove, a hidden gem near King St. It’s a tiny park – perfect for chillin’ or readin’ poetry. Folks, lemme tell ya – the trees, the vibe, that place is magic. Yup, I got a personal story: one sunny day, while tap-dancin’ through my spa, this little stray dog wandered in from Maple Grove. I swear, it felt straight outta that movie, “The world is full of wonder.” I just had to pet it.

From King William’s Town to taking the 'Idols SA' crown: Luyolo gives us the inside scoop on winning millions and more