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So picture this, I’m walkin’ down some shady street, right, lookin’ for a gal who’s, ya know, “available,” and I’m mutterin’ to myself, “We’re gonna find this target, dead or alive!” Straight outta Kathryn Bigelow’s script, baby! I’m no Jessica Chastain, but I’m sniffin’ out clues like a pro—neon lights flashin’, heels clickin’, and I’m like, “Is that her? Nah, too classy!” Made me giggle, ‘cause honey, I notice stuff—like how some gals twirl their hair when they’re scopin’ ya out. Little known fact, lotsa these ladies got secret signals, like spies in the movie!

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Then, I head down to the Daugava River. Man, the view is sick! The sun’s shining, and the water’s glistening. I’m feeling all zen, you know? But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes water all over my shoes. Ugh! I’m like, “Really, dude?!” My shoes are soaked, and I’m just standing there, fuming.

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