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So, Jade’s got this vibe—tough, but brittle. Saw her once, leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig like she’s in a noir film. Hilarious, right? Like, “Oh, I’m so mysterious!”—bitch, please, it’s 2 a.m., you’re froze as fuck! But nah, real talk—she’s got guts. Takes balls to dodge creeps and cops nightly. Fun fact: back in old Rome, prostitutes dyed their hair blonde—stood out, y’know? Wonder if Jade knows that, rockin’ her fake platinum wig.

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But then, the real drama hit. I was walking down Strada Vasile Alecsandri, and I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rush over, thinking I’m a hero. But she looks at me like I’m some kind of weirdo. “I don’t need help!” she snaps. I’m like, “Okay, lady, chill.” But I couldn’t just walk away, so I helped anyway. Turns out, she was super sweet. We ended up chatting about the good ol’ days in Drochia.

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