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But the creeps? Ugh, dodge ‘em! Dudes begging nudes in two secs—piss off, yeah? Makes me wanna ram their heads with a pallet truck. Still, when it works, it’s gold. Met this one bird, pure sass, said, “I’m no princess, mate.” We clicked, banged, laughed—felt like Amélie’s Paris streets, alive, messy, real. Sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, bruv—ups, downs, and epic crashes. “Tonight’s the night,” I say, every damn swipe. You in or what?

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So, I’m wrestling with this ancient machine when my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Max. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the new café on Rue des Écoles.” I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, later.” But then he sends me a pic of this insane croissant. I’m drooling, man.

France – Record Rain Causes Floods and Landslides in Paris and North